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Solutions And Support For Families

What to do if your ex ignores a custody order

by | Sep 4, 2025 | Firm News

You worked hard to build a custody plan that gave your child stability and allowed you both to stay involved. When your ex refuses to follow it, the situation can quickly feel unfair, confusing and overwhelming. Missed visits, late drop-offs or skipped calls are more than small inconveniences. They disrupt your child’s life and leave you wondering what steps you can take to make things right.

What counts as a violation

In Washington, parenting plans approved by the court carry the force of law. A violation happens when a parent fails to follow the schedule or rules set in that plan. This may include refusing to return the child after visits, keeping the child from scheduled calls or ignoring decision-making rights. Even repeated lateness can count as a pattern that the court takes seriously.

Steps you can take

When your ex breaks the plan, you have several ways to respond. Each option gives you a path forward:

  • Keep careful records: Note every missed or delayed visit with dates and details. This creates proof if you return to court.
  • Try mediation: A neutral third party can help you both address the problem without a drawn-out legal fight.
  • File a motion for contempt: Under Washington law, a parent who willfully disobeys a parenting plan can face fines, makeup time or other penalties.
  • Request a modification: If violations keep happening, you may ask the court to change the plan so your child’s best interests come first.

These options work best when you approach them calmly and with good documentation. Taking matters into your own hands, such as refusing visits in return, can harm your case.

Why legal help matters

Custody disputes affect more than schedules. They shape your relationship with your child and your peace of mind. Speaking with a Washington family law attorney can help. They can explain your options, file the right motions and stand up for your parenting rights. If your ex is not respecting the plan, speaking with a lawyer can help you take the right steps and protect your child’s future.